While struggling with the reality of suffering, death, and nursing, I've realized that so much of nursing is based on caring. It becomes so easy to get wrapped up in all the medical care you are supposed to give and make sure your patients receive, however what is the most needed is someone to listen, to squeeze their hand, to rub their back, to tuck them in. I'm still struggling with the fact that working on an adult oncology unit means that I am not healing people. I'm helping them fulfill their hopes and dreams (sometimes this means getting stronger, heading home, and sometimes this means dying pain free with loved ones nearby)
My roommate recommended to me a book by Pauline Chen, a physician and writer (you can read her weekly articles in the NY Times), entitled Final Exam. I was so excited to read this book as the description seemed to touch on exactly what I was trying hard to understand and articulate. I just finished the book this morning and feel a sense of relief in realizing that other people struggle with these same issues and that there are lessons to be learned, and the hope of becoming a great nurse and a caring person is an achievable goal even when the prognosis of the disease is not good.
I was touched by these words in her final chapter: A friend once said to me "We are in the business of suffering". Most of us are drawn to medicine because we want to ease that suffering, but we forget over time that it encompasses more than just diseases and their symptoms.
What is more significant for our patients, particularly those at the end of life, is the suffering which results from a loss of meaning and purpose. This suffering is profound, but it is NOT hopeless. We physicians can address it by being present for our patients, by giving weight to their experience, and by becoming the kind of doctors we have always wanted to be.
2 comments:
lovely post my dear. while i certainly do not encounter death as often as you do yet, i know it is bound to become a daily aspect of my life. i absolutely love this book because it speaks to what is, ironically, so often overlooked in medicine and is a reminder that being a physician/nurse/etc is not just about "saving" people. like you pointed out, it's about easing people's suffering- regardless of whether it's to extend your patient's life or prepare for their death. im glad you liked it :)
amberly- i really love reading your posts, and feel blessed to hear honesty about REAL life. Many people are so busy covering up reality that the rest of us wonder why we are the only ones to struggle. we'll keep you in our prayers, but it sounds like God is already quick to answer your prayers and help guide you through this journey.
funny how we are starting the opposite journey about the beginning of life and all the weight and responsibilities of that! :)
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